For willwrite_fortea: Revenge is Served
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thirdmondayTitle: Revenge is Served
Recipient:willwrite_fortea
Fandoms: Fake News/Real News
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Characters/Pairings: Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Kent Jones
Prompt: Keith and Rachel (can include their staff) play pranks on the TDS/TCR studios, revenge pranks are a must!
Disclaimer: All copyrighted materials referred to in this work are the property of their respective owners. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author: Jess Idres
Author's note: I apologize in advance for the slight bias on the various pranks.
Looking back, Keith wishes he could say it all started innocently enough, but knowing the players involved, that was never going to be the case. He’d never expected it to get this far, however.
It began, of course, with a segment. The Daily Show had taken particular joy in poking fun at Keith’s new job at Current, Jon becoming downright gleeful at some particularly below the belt jabs. At that point, Keith decided that a little payback was in order - Jon had gone unchecked for too long.
At first, he had to admit that the plans were little more than something to fill his afternoons, with little chance of fruition. That changed when Rachel, who discovered his notes the next time she was over to raid his liquor cabinet, quickly recruited herself to the cause. She had mumbled something about Jon purposely sneezing on her drink, but that was as far as Keith got for an explanation from her.
He should have started worrying when she began to giggle - nothing good ever came when Rachel giggled.
The plan was remarkably simple, when you came down to it. Rachel was asked on to the Daily Show a few weeks later, giving them the perfect cover. MSNBC PR was unable to attend with Rachel that night, so arriving with Keith and Kent Jones caused little fuss. Surprisingly, most of the backstage staff paid little to no attention to the bearded Keith when he walked in with her, a few of the interns even calling him ‘Mr. Maddow’ to their mutual embarrassment, and Kent’s amusement (though they never figured out if they thought he was her husband or her father in the end). Jon was in a meeting with his writers, going over his script one last time before air, and Kent blended in perfectly with his old surroundings as they made their way to the dressing rooms. Kent Jones never really did explain why he had a copy of Jon Stewart’s dressing room key, and Rachel never really asked.
Jon walked off stage, engrossed in the pitches for tomorrow’s show. There had been so many last minute changes today alone, he’d had his make up done in the writer’s room. Rachel had been pleasant to chat with, if a bit... odd. She seemed slightly eager to talk off air about his current annoyance with Keith Olbermann, but dropped it quickly when he voiced his dislike of Keith’s overblown pompousness.
So he didn’t bother to look up until he’d shut the door of his office dressing room, ready to unwind.
That’s when he saw them.
Hundreds of Olbermann macros smiled at him from every inch of the room. On the walls, on the desk, on the computer - even the mirror had an oversized “How Dare You, Sir” taped front and center. His normal mug had even been replaced with a ‘Countdown’ one.
Jon blinked, walked out the door, and promptly screamed bloody murder.
The saddest part of the plan was that Keith never saw Jon’s initial reaction to his handiwork; he had slipped out the door long before Jon returned. So he was forced to wait in the small diner a few blocks away until Rachel was done, internally warring between the jealousy of getting to see Jon’s reaction to his Keithified dressing room, and the guilt of leaving her to take the blame.
The widespread grin on her face as she collapsed into the booth erased any sense of guilt he had been feeling. “So?” He asked, desperate for details.
She just kept grinning, taking out her BlackBerry and sliding it across the table.
There were 34 missed calls, and 23 text messages. All from the same number.
Jon Stewart, TDS.
“‘I don’t know how you did it, I’m not even sure why you did it, but I will have my revenge on both of you...’ My God, this is delicious. Amazing. You ok with this?” Keith figured out how to forward all the messages to his own phone, then passed it back.
Rachel nodded, grinning into her coffee cup. “I was fully aware of the risks when I volunteered. Kent too. Honestly, I kinda look forward to it.”
The revenge, if it could be called that, was hilarious; even Keith had to applaud the Daily Show’s actions. Rachel had fallen off the couch, laughing, when Jon had aired the surveillance footage of the ‘daring break-in’ and the shot of the dressing room. After several jokes making Keith out to be a homeless man, and several dumb criminal jokes, Jon really dug in the next night.
“So Aaron Sorkin is making a show based on Olbermann’s career as a pundit. This is, of course, the second time that Sorkin has based a show on Olbermann’s ever changing careers. Luckily, our inside sources have managed to get us a clip of the show...”
Even Keith had to admit the clip from Network was a nice touch.
Rachel wasn’t exempt from Jon’s wrath, either. Rachel giggled over the various Bieber hair jokes, and the general MSNBC jokes, but got annoyed when he misrepresented her report on Speaker Boehner’s bad leadership.
“Yeah, it’s annoying, Rach, but it’s his equivalency schtick,” Keith mentioned the next time they got together for brunch. “What can you do? It’s not like he’s going to let you waltz backstage after our little stunt....”
Rachel nodded and pursed her lips. “No, no, he won’t... but did you know he’s having Engel on as a guest next week?”
Keith raised an eyebrow. “And what might you have on Richard that would possibly make him go along with with the horrible idea you’re no doubt planning?”
“Six pints of Ben and Jerry’s and a blooper from his last broadcast from Bahrain.”
“Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
Jon flipped through the audience’s questions before going out to do the audience warm-up. Some were the usual hilarious fan questions, and he quietly tossed the ones about having his babies.... Huh, he thought as he flipped through the cards, apparently some people think I’m obsessed with Olbermann. He tossed those as well, not really interested in going through the memory of his dressing room again. He did feel a little bad about overly skewering Maddow about Boehner, but he felt that she would know better than that. When things quieted down he’d have her on again to joke about it (fully supervised, of course).
The warm- up comedian had begun to wrap up, and Jon checked his notes once more before heading out onto the stage. The crowd erupted in its usual cheer, but it seemed a little... muffled...
Jon Stewart ran in horror when an audience full of Keith Olbermann masks stared directly at him.
And so it went, back and forth, over the next few weeks. Finally, when neither side could take it anymore, Kent Jones called Stephen to step in and mediate the feud to a proper end. Using the start of Keith’s new show on Current TV, Stephen arranged to have him on as his Thursday guest. Getting Jon to agree to the sitdown was a hassle, but when Stephen threatened to do the next six tosses wearing the Olbermann mask, he agreed.
Keith had wondered why there were three chairs set up at Colbert’s usual interviewing desk, but really didn’t give it much thought until Stephen took the middle chair instead of the one opposite his own. What was going on, he wondered.
When Jon reluctantly walked up to take third chair, Keith’s mouth fell open. He’d resigned himself to never being in the same studio as Stewart, let alone be sitting across the table from him, after all the mayhem of the last four months. Should he stand? Should he shake Stewart’s hand?
Jon paused in front of the chair, shuffling his feet. “Um, nice interview you’ve got going here. Mind if I...uh, take this seat?”
Stephen, the twinkle of comedy in his eye, raised an eyebrow. “Well, I dunno. I haven’t laid down any tarp, and Olbermann is my guest. What do you think, Keith?”
Keith worked his mouth for a moment before any sound came out. “I think it’s ok, Stephen.”
Stephen, his face mock serious, pulled a referee jacket from under the desk and put it on. The other two men snickered at this, and Jon took the seat across.
The awkward silence was deafening.
“So...”
“Yeah...”
“Um.” Keith finally blurted the first thing he could think of. “You really don’t like me, do you, Jon?”
Stewart’s head snapped up. “No! No... I don’t really dislike you. I mean, yeah, you yell a lot, and use really big words that make half of America’s head hurt, but I don’t *hate* you. I mean, you did do some good.” He paused, fiddling with the paper on the table. “Though, you did cancel on me last minute.”
Keith snorted. “That was over four years ago, and my appendix burst! Really!” He tapped the table and sighed. “But you were right. I do tend to go over the top sometimes, and it helps when someone without bias points that out. But you did realize that ‘Worst Persons’ was a joke, right? It was purposely hyperbole...”
Jon sighed, scrunching his lips in thought. “Yeah, but the comedy bit is my schtick. Having it on a serious news commentary show just made it look like you were trying to match Fox News’ style. It lowered the debate.”
Keith raised an eyebrow. “Now where did I ever say I was doing a serious news program? Everybody needs a little bit of comedy. I’d also point out that you seem to be stealing my ‘schtick’ every once and a while yourself. That was some good, solid journalism with those 9/11 first responders.”
Stephen made an “Oooo, burn!” at that, but quickly mumbled sorry when he had two matching glares directed at him.
Keith and Jon continued the banter back and forth, moving on to topics about Stewart’s beloved Mets and Keith’s hatred of Tom Brady (“Just don’t tell Rachel I said that, please? Last time I insulted him in front of her, all my Yankee stuff disappeared out of my office and I had to deal with Red Sox colors for a week.”). At the end of it, Stephen made them hug; Keith laughing as Jon flailed - ‘It’s like being hugged by a bear!’ - and the two walked off stage.
“You do realize I’m going to mock the hell out of your new show still, right?”
Keith shrugged. “And I’m going to keep making indignant speeches and using big words that hurt O’Reilly’s pea brain. It’s ok.”
Jon nodded, then looked up at the bigger man. “So, feud over?”
“I’d like to think so. On my end at least.”
“Oh. Right. How do I pacify Rachel, then?”
“Alcohol. Bottles of it. That’s the only thing I’ve found that works. Well, that, and giving her large, dangerous-looking prop switches.”
“Alcohol it is.”
Recipient:
willwrite_forteaFandoms: Fake News/Real News
Rating: PG
Warnings: None.
Characters/Pairings: Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Kent Jones
Prompt: Keith and Rachel (can include their staff) play pranks on the TDS/TCR studios, revenge pranks are a must!
Disclaimer: All copyrighted materials referred to in this work are the property of their respective owners. References to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Author: Jess Idres
Author's note: I apologize in advance for the slight bias on the various pranks.
Looking back, Keith wishes he could say it all started innocently enough, but knowing the players involved, that was never going to be the case. He’d never expected it to get this far, however.
It began, of course, with a segment. The Daily Show had taken particular joy in poking fun at Keith’s new job at Current, Jon becoming downright gleeful at some particularly below the belt jabs. At that point, Keith decided that a little payback was in order - Jon had gone unchecked for too long.
At first, he had to admit that the plans were little more than something to fill his afternoons, with little chance of fruition. That changed when Rachel, who discovered his notes the next time she was over to raid his liquor cabinet, quickly recruited herself to the cause. She had mumbled something about Jon purposely sneezing on her drink, but that was as far as Keith got for an explanation from her.
He should have started worrying when she began to giggle - nothing good ever came when Rachel giggled.
The plan was remarkably simple, when you came down to it. Rachel was asked on to the Daily Show a few weeks later, giving them the perfect cover. MSNBC PR was unable to attend with Rachel that night, so arriving with Keith and Kent Jones caused little fuss. Surprisingly, most of the backstage staff paid little to no attention to the bearded Keith when he walked in with her, a few of the interns even calling him ‘Mr. Maddow’ to their mutual embarrassment, and Kent’s amusement (though they never figured out if they thought he was her husband or her father in the end). Jon was in a meeting with his writers, going over his script one last time before air, and Kent blended in perfectly with his old surroundings as they made their way to the dressing rooms. Kent Jones never really did explain why he had a copy of Jon Stewart’s dressing room key, and Rachel never really asked.
Jon walked off stage, engrossed in the pitches for tomorrow’s show. There had been so many last minute changes today alone, he’d had his make up done in the writer’s room. Rachel had been pleasant to chat with, if a bit... odd. She seemed slightly eager to talk off air about his current annoyance with Keith Olbermann, but dropped it quickly when he voiced his dislike of Keith’s overblown pompousness.
So he didn’t bother to look up until he’d shut the door of his office dressing room, ready to unwind.
That’s when he saw them.
Hundreds of Olbermann macros smiled at him from every inch of the room. On the walls, on the desk, on the computer - even the mirror had an oversized “How Dare You, Sir” taped front and center. His normal mug had even been replaced with a ‘Countdown’ one.
Jon blinked, walked out the door, and promptly screamed bloody murder.
The saddest part of the plan was that Keith never saw Jon’s initial reaction to his handiwork; he had slipped out the door long before Jon returned. So he was forced to wait in the small diner a few blocks away until Rachel was done, internally warring between the jealousy of getting to see Jon’s reaction to his Keithified dressing room, and the guilt of leaving her to take the blame.
The widespread grin on her face as she collapsed into the booth erased any sense of guilt he had been feeling. “So?” He asked, desperate for details.
She just kept grinning, taking out her BlackBerry and sliding it across the table.
There were 34 missed calls, and 23 text messages. All from the same number.
Jon Stewart, TDS.
“‘I don’t know how you did it, I’m not even sure why you did it, but I will have my revenge on both of you...’ My God, this is delicious. Amazing. You ok with this?” Keith figured out how to forward all the messages to his own phone, then passed it back.
Rachel nodded, grinning into her coffee cup. “I was fully aware of the risks when I volunteered. Kent too. Honestly, I kinda look forward to it.”
The revenge, if it could be called that, was hilarious; even Keith had to applaud the Daily Show’s actions. Rachel had fallen off the couch, laughing, when Jon had aired the surveillance footage of the ‘daring break-in’ and the shot of the dressing room. After several jokes making Keith out to be a homeless man, and several dumb criminal jokes, Jon really dug in the next night.
“So Aaron Sorkin is making a show based on Olbermann’s career as a pundit. This is, of course, the second time that Sorkin has based a show on Olbermann’s ever changing careers. Luckily, our inside sources have managed to get us a clip of the show...”
Even Keith had to admit the clip from Network was a nice touch.
Rachel wasn’t exempt from Jon’s wrath, either. Rachel giggled over the various Bieber hair jokes, and the general MSNBC jokes, but got annoyed when he misrepresented her report on Speaker Boehner’s bad leadership.
“Yeah, it’s annoying, Rach, but it’s his equivalency schtick,” Keith mentioned the next time they got together for brunch. “What can you do? It’s not like he’s going to let you waltz backstage after our little stunt....”
Rachel nodded and pursed her lips. “No, no, he won’t... but did you know he’s having Engel on as a guest next week?”
Keith raised an eyebrow. “And what might you have on Richard that would possibly make him go along with with the horrible idea you’re no doubt planning?”
“Six pints of Ben and Jerry’s and a blooper from his last broadcast from Bahrain.”
“Remind me never to get on your bad side.”
“And don’t you forget it.”
Jon flipped through the audience’s questions before going out to do the audience warm-up. Some were the usual hilarious fan questions, and he quietly tossed the ones about having his babies.... Huh, he thought as he flipped through the cards, apparently some people think I’m obsessed with Olbermann. He tossed those as well, not really interested in going through the memory of his dressing room again. He did feel a little bad about overly skewering Maddow about Boehner, but he felt that she would know better than that. When things quieted down he’d have her on again to joke about it (fully supervised, of course).
The warm- up comedian had begun to wrap up, and Jon checked his notes once more before heading out onto the stage. The crowd erupted in its usual cheer, but it seemed a little... muffled...
Jon Stewart ran in horror when an audience full of Keith Olbermann masks stared directly at him.
And so it went, back and forth, over the next few weeks. Finally, when neither side could take it anymore, Kent Jones called Stephen to step in and mediate the feud to a proper end. Using the start of Keith’s new show on Current TV, Stephen arranged to have him on as his Thursday guest. Getting Jon to agree to the sitdown was a hassle, but when Stephen threatened to do the next six tosses wearing the Olbermann mask, he agreed.
Keith had wondered why there were three chairs set up at Colbert’s usual interviewing desk, but really didn’t give it much thought until Stephen took the middle chair instead of the one opposite his own. What was going on, he wondered.
When Jon reluctantly walked up to take third chair, Keith’s mouth fell open. He’d resigned himself to never being in the same studio as Stewart, let alone be sitting across the table from him, after all the mayhem of the last four months. Should he stand? Should he shake Stewart’s hand?
Jon paused in front of the chair, shuffling his feet. “Um, nice interview you’ve got going here. Mind if I...uh, take this seat?”
Stephen, the twinkle of comedy in his eye, raised an eyebrow. “Well, I dunno. I haven’t laid down any tarp, and Olbermann is my guest. What do you think, Keith?”
Keith worked his mouth for a moment before any sound came out. “I think it’s ok, Stephen.”
Stephen, his face mock serious, pulled a referee jacket from under the desk and put it on. The other two men snickered at this, and Jon took the seat across.
The awkward silence was deafening.
“So...”
“Yeah...”
“Um.” Keith finally blurted the first thing he could think of. “You really don’t like me, do you, Jon?”
Stewart’s head snapped up. “No! No... I don’t really dislike you. I mean, yeah, you yell a lot, and use really big words that make half of America’s head hurt, but I don’t *hate* you. I mean, you did do some good.” He paused, fiddling with the paper on the table. “Though, you did cancel on me last minute.”
Keith snorted. “That was over four years ago, and my appendix burst! Really!” He tapped the table and sighed. “But you were right. I do tend to go over the top sometimes, and it helps when someone without bias points that out. But you did realize that ‘Worst Persons’ was a joke, right? It was purposely hyperbole...”
Jon sighed, scrunching his lips in thought. “Yeah, but the comedy bit is my schtick. Having it on a serious news commentary show just made it look like you were trying to match Fox News’ style. It lowered the debate.”
Keith raised an eyebrow. “Now where did I ever say I was doing a serious news program? Everybody needs a little bit of comedy. I’d also point out that you seem to be stealing my ‘schtick’ every once and a while yourself. That was some good, solid journalism with those 9/11 first responders.”
Stephen made an “Oooo, burn!” at that, but quickly mumbled sorry when he had two matching glares directed at him.
Keith and Jon continued the banter back and forth, moving on to topics about Stewart’s beloved Mets and Keith’s hatred of Tom Brady (“Just don’t tell Rachel I said that, please? Last time I insulted him in front of her, all my Yankee stuff disappeared out of my office and I had to deal with Red Sox colors for a week.”). At the end of it, Stephen made them hug; Keith laughing as Jon flailed - ‘It’s like being hugged by a bear!’ - and the two walked off stage.
“You do realize I’m going to mock the hell out of your new show still, right?”
Keith shrugged. “And I’m going to keep making indignant speeches and using big words that hurt O’Reilly’s pea brain. It’s ok.”
Jon nodded, then looked up at the bigger man. “So, feud over?”
“I’d like to think so. On my end at least.”
“Oh. Right. How do I pacify Rachel, then?”
“Alcohol. Bottles of it. That’s the only thing I’ve found that works. Well, that, and giving her large, dangerous-looking prop switches.”
“Alcohol it is.”
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-01 03:41 am (UTC)