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thirdmondayTitle: The Naked Truth
Recipient: audeamus
Fandom: Real news/Fake news pundits
Rating: PG13+
Word count: 1075
Characters: Stephen Colbert, Anderson Cooper, Ana Marie Cox, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Jon Stewart
Prompt: Keith and Rachel. They do separate photo shoots for a magazine, some of the spreads are a bit suggestive so the rest of the PRT teases them.
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: Didn't happen. Nope. The real people mentioned within own themselves and anything that happened here is totally fictional.
Author: count_nickula
Rachel opened the large envelope and slid the photos out onto the table, waving her hand dismissively. “Okay, it was a laugh to play dress-ups, but I still felt like a Muppet,” she chuckled.
“You're our very own Miss Piggy,” Jon replied, trying to grab a picture from the handful that Stephen had in his hands.
Ana Marie tilted her head at Stephen, “I thought he was our Miss Piggy?”
Stephen looked up from the pictures, “I could murder a BLT, with extra bacon. Rach, any chance of getting a copy of this one? Oh, and this one? Poster size would be awesome.”
“Tear it out the magazine at the news-stand like anyone else,” chided Jon.
Rachel set her chin in her hands and watched the gang sift through the photo samples. After a few minutes of ooh-ing and ah-ing from Jon and Ana Marie, along with silent lust from Stephen, Keith strutted into the bistro with a cheery wave to the wait-staff.
He plonked himself down next to Ana Marie with a smile, holding up a magazine, his voice sonorous and mock-offended, “Well, here I was, ready to crow about my spread, and I see I have been trumped by a rival. Have at you, Maddow!”
“Would that be a middle-aged spread to which you're referring?” Jon asked, gently poking Keith's stomach.
“Well, hello there, Mr. Pot,” Keith's eyes sparkled with delight at another joust.
“That's Mr. Pot Head, if you don't mind,” Jon replied.
“Oh joy, another Stewart-Olbermann tennis match,” laughed Ana Marie. “I might need another drink for this.”
“Nice boner, Keith.” Stephen had finally torn his eyes away from Rachel's pictures and was gazing intently at the full-page photo in Keith's article. He held it up for everyone to see.
“No!” Jon gasped in disbelief.
“It's gotta be a shadow, or the fabric riding up, or something,” Ana Marie frowned, tilting both her head and the page around to try and see better.
“I'll bet you were thinking of O'Reilly when that picture was taken,” teased Rachel.
Keith had been shaking his head in mystification for the past minute, unable to explain it. “It's not real, of course. Imagine that, turning Newsweek into soft porn.”
“Porn, eh? I wish I'd thought of that when I edited my edition,” Stephen sighed wistfully. “Hey, Coop,” he added with a smile.
Late as usual, Anderson sat next to Stephen, “Porn? Do I really want to know? Oh, and hello everyone.”
*****
Several weeks later, Rachel gingerly opened her magazine spread and pushed it across the table, “The words are more important than the pictures. So, yeah,” she laughed a little nervously.
“You do look good as a girly-girl, but remember, I hold the prize in pink dresses and tiaras,” Jon reassured her.
Rachel giggled in reply, “I wouldn't dream of encroaching on your territory, Princess Jon.”
Stephen and Anderson were crowded around one page, the other held vertical as Ana Marie took her time reading the other page. A gleam suddenly appeared in Stephen's eye and he glanced at Anderson.
“Oh my,” muttered Anderson. “Rachel, I think you should see this.”
Stephen butted in, “Was it cold on that day, Rach?”
He reluctantly let go of the magazine so Rachel could see.
Keith adjusted his glasses and whistled, “Circulation's gonna go up, that's for sure.”
Jon straightened an imaginary tie, adding with a silly voice, “Amongst other things.”
Ana Marie put on her best analytical voice, “Somewhere along the way between those samples we saw, and publication, there's been some colour grading and contrast work.”
Stephen leaned over, “The result is one very stunning case of both headlights being on.”
One minute later, an emergency bag of ice was brought over to the Pundits' table to deal with Stephen's Purple Nurple.
*****
A week or so later, a fully recuperated, but not rehabilitated Stephen placed his hands on the table and announced proudly, “I have an idea. We should do a calendar. For charity.”
“That's an awesome idea, and very noble,” nodded Jon.
As everyone nodded and murmured in agreement, Stephen smiled, “Nice of you to say so, Jon. It can be a nude calendar called the Naked Truth, or Nude News, something snappy like that.”
Ana Marie simply stared at Stephen, one eyebrow raised. Jon threw up his hands, “Why didn't I see that coming?”
Keith shrugged, “Sure, it'll be a laugh!”
Jon nearly got whiplash turning round to stare at Keith, finding himself at a loss for words. Rachel took a sip from her drink and pondered, "Pudgy, naked middle-aged men of news doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it?”
Stephen wagged his finger in the air, “Well, it won't be like that with you ladies on board, will it? Anderson's got a body like Adonis, so there'll be something for everyone!”
The resulting disbelieving laughter didn't dampen Stephen's enthusiasm as he continued, “Jon, what about BriWi? He's got abs like absinthe. Anderson can rope in Sanjay. It'll be awesome. Plus, just to make it fair and balanced, I'll ask Papa Bear. Maybe Sarah Palin can get on board, too.” His eyes glazed over at the thought of a naked Sarah caressing an AK-47.
Keith let out a low chuckle before asking, “Can you imagine a naked Rush Limbaugh?”
Jon spat out his drink, “Jesus Christ, Olbermann, I'm trying to eat here!
As Ana Marie shivered and brushed off imaginary spiders from herself, Rachel could only shake her head in sorrow, “Keith Olbermann, you are one sick puppy.”
Returning from the bathroom, Stephen saw Anderson arrive and they had a brief conversation as they walked over to the gang. Anderson was already on his cell phone to Sanjay, nodding hello to the group.
Triumphantly, Stephen announced, “Anderson's in, so you pussies might want to rethink things over.”
Jon narrowed his eyes, “So, he's really doing it?”
Stephen almost snorted in indignation, “Of course, he's totally up for it.”
Jon tapped his glass, “You're saying you convinced Anderson Cooper to do a naked calender shot.”
Anderson held his hand over his phone, “Sanjay's in." Jon's words suddenly sank in, "Wait, who's naked? What? Stephen!”
Recipient: audeamus
Fandom: Real news/Fake news pundits
Rating: PG13+
Word count: 1075
Characters: Stephen Colbert, Anderson Cooper, Ana Marie Cox, Rachel Maddow, Keith Olbermann, Jon Stewart
Prompt: Keith and Rachel. They do separate photo shoots for a magazine, some of the spreads are a bit suggestive so the rest of the PRT teases them.
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: Didn't happen. Nope. The real people mentioned within own themselves and anything that happened here is totally fictional.
Author: count_nickula
Rachel opened the large envelope and slid the photos out onto the table, waving her hand dismissively. “Okay, it was a laugh to play dress-ups, but I still felt like a Muppet,” she chuckled.
“You're our very own Miss Piggy,” Jon replied, trying to grab a picture from the handful that Stephen had in his hands.
Ana Marie tilted her head at Stephen, “I thought he was our Miss Piggy?”
Stephen looked up from the pictures, “I could murder a BLT, with extra bacon. Rach, any chance of getting a copy of this one? Oh, and this one? Poster size would be awesome.”
“Tear it out the magazine at the news-stand like anyone else,” chided Jon.
Rachel set her chin in her hands and watched the gang sift through the photo samples. After a few minutes of ooh-ing and ah-ing from Jon and Ana Marie, along with silent lust from Stephen, Keith strutted into the bistro with a cheery wave to the wait-staff.
He plonked himself down next to Ana Marie with a smile, holding up a magazine, his voice sonorous and mock-offended, “Well, here I was, ready to crow about my spread, and I see I have been trumped by a rival. Have at you, Maddow!”
“Would that be a middle-aged spread to which you're referring?” Jon asked, gently poking Keith's stomach.
“Well, hello there, Mr. Pot,” Keith's eyes sparkled with delight at another joust.
“That's Mr. Pot Head, if you don't mind,” Jon replied.
“Oh joy, another Stewart-Olbermann tennis match,” laughed Ana Marie. “I might need another drink for this.”
“Nice boner, Keith.” Stephen had finally torn his eyes away from Rachel's pictures and was gazing intently at the full-page photo in Keith's article. He held it up for everyone to see.
“No!” Jon gasped in disbelief.
“It's gotta be a shadow, or the fabric riding up, or something,” Ana Marie frowned, tilting both her head and the page around to try and see better.
“I'll bet you were thinking of O'Reilly when that picture was taken,” teased Rachel.
Keith had been shaking his head in mystification for the past minute, unable to explain it. “It's not real, of course. Imagine that, turning Newsweek into soft porn.”
“Porn, eh? I wish I'd thought of that when I edited my edition,” Stephen sighed wistfully. “Hey, Coop,” he added with a smile.
Late as usual, Anderson sat next to Stephen, “Porn? Do I really want to know? Oh, and hello everyone.”
Several weeks later, Rachel gingerly opened her magazine spread and pushed it across the table, “The words are more important than the pictures. So, yeah,” she laughed a little nervously.
“You do look good as a girly-girl, but remember, I hold the prize in pink dresses and tiaras,” Jon reassured her.
Rachel giggled in reply, “I wouldn't dream of encroaching on your territory, Princess Jon.”
Stephen and Anderson were crowded around one page, the other held vertical as Ana Marie took her time reading the other page. A gleam suddenly appeared in Stephen's eye and he glanced at Anderson.
“Oh my,” muttered Anderson. “Rachel, I think you should see this.”
Stephen butted in, “Was it cold on that day, Rach?”
He reluctantly let go of the magazine so Rachel could see.
Keith adjusted his glasses and whistled, “Circulation's gonna go up, that's for sure.”
Jon straightened an imaginary tie, adding with a silly voice, “Amongst other things.”
Ana Marie put on her best analytical voice, “Somewhere along the way between those samples we saw, and publication, there's been some colour grading and contrast work.”
Stephen leaned over, “The result is one very stunning case of both headlights being on.”
One minute later, an emergency bag of ice was brought over to the Pundits' table to deal with Stephen's Purple Nurple.
A week or so later, a fully recuperated, but not rehabilitated Stephen placed his hands on the table and announced proudly, “I have an idea. We should do a calendar. For charity.”
“That's an awesome idea, and very noble,” nodded Jon.
As everyone nodded and murmured in agreement, Stephen smiled, “Nice of you to say so, Jon. It can be a nude calendar called the Naked Truth, or Nude News, something snappy like that.”
Ana Marie simply stared at Stephen, one eyebrow raised. Jon threw up his hands, “Why didn't I see that coming?”
Keith shrugged, “Sure, it'll be a laugh!”
Jon nearly got whiplash turning round to stare at Keith, finding himself at a loss for words. Rachel took a sip from her drink and pondered, "Pudgy, naked middle-aged men of news doesn't have quite the same ring to it, does it?”
Stephen wagged his finger in the air, “Well, it won't be like that with you ladies on board, will it? Anderson's got a body like Adonis, so there'll be something for everyone!”
The resulting disbelieving laughter didn't dampen Stephen's enthusiasm as he continued, “Jon, what about BriWi? He's got abs like absinthe. Anderson can rope in Sanjay. It'll be awesome. Plus, just to make it fair and balanced, I'll ask Papa Bear. Maybe Sarah Palin can get on board, too.” His eyes glazed over at the thought of a naked Sarah caressing an AK-47.
Keith let out a low chuckle before asking, “Can you imagine a naked Rush Limbaugh?”
Jon spat out his drink, “Jesus Christ, Olbermann, I'm trying to eat here!
As Ana Marie shivered and brushed off imaginary spiders from herself, Rachel could only shake her head in sorrow, “Keith Olbermann, you are one sick puppy.”
Returning from the bathroom, Stephen saw Anderson arrive and they had a brief conversation as they walked over to the gang. Anderson was already on his cell phone to Sanjay, nodding hello to the group.
Triumphantly, Stephen announced, “Anderson's in, so you pussies might want to rethink things over.”
Jon narrowed his eyes, “So, he's really doing it?”
Stephen almost snorted in indignation, “Of course, he's totally up for it.”
Jon tapped his glass, “You're saying you convinced Anderson Cooper to do a naked calender shot.”
Anderson held his hand over his phone, “Sanjay's in." Jon's words suddenly sank in, "Wait, who's naked? What? Stephen!”
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-16 03:45 am (UTC)Keith's photoshoot/pictures would be a favorite of bears and cubs I suspect, just sayin'
(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-17 02:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-02-18 01:42 am (UTC)